TequilaFight Ver. 3.0: The Blanco Battle!
Welcome back, my friends, to the tasting that never ends! This time we’re up for another blanco taste-off. We’re pitting two middleweights against a relatively (to me, anyway) unknown.
First up is the mystery brand: “30-30”.
100 % blue agave of course, but I don’t know a whole lot more about him.
Next in line is “Herencia de Plata” silver.
A quiet contender whom I HAVE heard a small bit about.. and most of it good. He’s not so easily accessible, but whenever I’ve read a few notes about his profile I get more and more intrigued.
Lastly we have the phallic, “Chaya” silver.
It’s hard not to notice THIS bad boy. His big blue bottle certainly gives him a top-rated “shelf appeal”. He’s an easy pour, but I WILL say there is a bit of trepidation as I grip that solid blue package in my hands.. (Am I liking him too much already?)
OK! The battle is ON!
I’m circling the contenders looking for an opening. Which silver will afford me the sliver of an opening? I make my move. I’m hurrying up to the 30-30. I will tell you straight off, 30-303. You’re the least anticipated of the group, and I did sneak a small sniff when I poured you. I’m confused about your capabilities. I cup you in hand and sniff:
You’re giving me a thin nose with a sharp alcohol attack. I’m not noticing any appreciable amount of agave in your aroma. Will you open up your drawer of secrets for me, 30-30? One more sniff is all I can afford you. Make it count you cardboard-hearted mannequin! AH! A secret peppermint sweetness that I missed the first time! You coy, circular spirit! I will drink you and dream as you do a circular dance on my tongue. I am hoping for a sweet daydream…
Ugh.. a disappointment. 30-30 I found NOTHING to taste! Did you quickly spirit yourself away and leave a hollow doppelganger in your place? There was a wisp of some burn seeping down the back of my throat.. but I can’t count that as a taste. You’re a strange and troubled child, 30-30. Your nose is actually more complex than your taste! Your guardian has dressed you but there’s nothing underneath your garments! How can this be? I will forcibly take you and DEMAND some taste from you:
NOTHING! I’m experiencing a watery injustice every time I clench my epiglottis. 30-30 you are the “Archies” of the puro set. No, you’re even LESS impressive than that. I find no reason to drink you, 30-30. I may even leave your glass as it stands.. half-empty (horrors!).
Allow me to wash some agua down to erase the watery insults I have been handed by the last ignoble contender. I have a temper rising and a storm brewing. That 30-30 has put me in a foul funk!
Herencia.. I call your name! Will you show me a similar disrespect or will you present the full blossom of your promise? A sniff to introduce ourselves:
You are a sweet, nutty, cinnamon confection, Herencia. I’m getting a bright sunny afternoon on a secluded hilltop feeling. Are you bottling that sunshine? Will you give an inner glow after I’ve tasted your soiled blades of grass? Ha! I’m insulting you good-naturedly in the hopes that you’ll be goaded into showing me your loudest sunny façade! Open up you sinner! I’m coming in for another sniff:
I’m not certain where you’re coming from and where you’re going to take me, Herencia. Your nose isn’t SO forceful as to present an entire picture let alone a universe to me. I wonder/hope: is there something beyond the shiny exterior you’re presenting? I’ll slurp you in an unjust manner:
Peppery! You beautiful bastard! You are hiding a peppered SOUL in your mirrored overcoat of cinnamon and glass. I’m staring into space. I’m allowing your pepper to subside while I contemplate more sips from your tangy underbelly. I know you’re secretly smiling, Herencia. You knew all along that you were packing something unexpected, yes? If you would do me the honor of another taste, I would be ever grateful and (this time) submissive:
Floral! I felt you sneak just a fashion of floral notes into that last “profile”. I’m envisioning a gorgeous sunny hilltop covered with peppery blossoms and wildflower fantasias flirting at the corner of my eye. I don’t know if I dare for a third taste my new friend. You have already taken me to a wonderful vantage point from which to ponder my next few life-moves. Am I asking too much for another vista? No matter! I DEMAND another taste as I have tamed you now and you belong inside me:
Herencia, there is a subtle command in you that I respond to favorably. You are easily a worthy “conversationalist” but I wonder if I’d grow tired of the same pastoral scene time after time? I long for a more complex discourse, my serene compadre. I will seek you out as long as your sale price fits within your status.
A quick wash through, and I am clicking my teeth in anticipation of my solid blue stallion. Chaya, your thick bottle has given me the pour with the most girth. I respect your hearty load, and pray that it delivers a sensation equal to its manly heft. A sniff:
Ohhh yes! I am reveling in a gummy, thick, agave musk. Chaya, do you have a “rock” in your history? If so it would only be fitting for a Stallion of such engorged proportions. You have a wet and round nose profile, sir. I’m smelling wet cement with peppery fruit. I am thoroughly engaged. I’m stepping right up for my “punishment”. Don’t hold back on the taste – give it all to me in one thick blast:
Wow! That was a lot of flavor, tongue action, and alcohol brandishment all at the same time. I like your complexity, Chaya! A quick rinse and I am game for another round:
Damn, Chaya! You could go all night with your complex and piquing “conversations” couldn’t you? You’re the porn star of silvers. I think I’ll try one more chewy taste of your sweet nectar, Chaya – hit it:
Yes! Ha ha! That was a great mouthful of thick peppery washes. Whew! What did you say your name was, stranger?
I’m not embarrassed about handling your attentive phallic package if you don’t gloat over my lack thereof. I am yours for the evening, Chaya. I can see that you and I will be having plenty to talk about over the years. Teach me to stand tall.